Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Time to Write

I had an interesting exchange with a friend of mine.

She's a mother of a four-year-old, and I know what that means. Hers is more than just a "real" job; it's a lifestyle. It's a full-time physical, mental, and emotional commitment to a long, demanding, no-way-out project. I have incredible respect for a mother who stays in control of her life despite the frantic pace presented by her job, and my friend does that fairly well.

So the other day my friend made a tiny, insignificant request on my time, and I was more than happy to help her out. However, it was the way she asked that left me scratching my head. She said, "I know how busy you are, but could you possibly do [x] for me?"

Well, I'm not busy. I'm a writer. Not only that, I'm an unpublished writer. [SNIP] That leaves me with tons of time, more than almost anyone I know.

Why, then, would my friend say, "I know how busy you are...", when she knows how much time I actually have?

Because she's sweet. In truth, she has absolutely no idea what I do with my time.

I'm sure she wonders about it, though. I would. "Why can't he talk on the phone? Why does it take him so long to answer my emails? Why can't he host a party once in a while? After all, he sees me doing much more than that, and all while herding a four-year-old!"

Sorry, dear. I wish I could tell you the answer.


(Edited: In fact, I tried to offer an answer here, but I failed remarkably. It seems my answer sent the opposite of its intended message, which is always an impressive accomplishment for a writer. Best I not address this topic, methinks.)


Amy said...

I know that "god" oh so well. He haunts me and pressures me to get the kids to bed early, to stay up way passed my bedtime, etc. I can hardly imagine how all-consumed I might be servicing him if I DIDN'T have kids!

Glad to hear you are back...we definitely should hook up soon. Hope you all are well...no more illness, okay? ;-)

Toiler said...

Yeah! Amy posted a comment on my blog!

And since you, Amy, have *two* kids -- which actually amounts to having several times more kids than just one four-year-old -- then I guess my comments apply to you, too.

Amy said...

I guess that's true, but I was referring to the creative comments...I guess I like to think of myself as one of those "creative types," as you put it, but come to think of it, creativity seems to also be the central key to happy parenting, it really does. If you substituted "Elias and Dahlia" in each place you mentioned god, you'd be talking about my life, by day and sometimes by night! It is a little different than sitting down by myself to paint or make something wearably artisitc, but my goals for both are indeed similar and very selfish, too, like my choice to have kids and to be present for them, to engage them and to parent them well so that they can experience the utmost peace and happiness and lead productive lifes! ;-) That will be the way-out, too. There are no for-sures, though, just like in writing, right? But we still keep at out work, we still keep working very selfishly in hopes that our goal will be reached.

Two posts in less than a week...you sure are pretty special! Can you meet me for coffee again? XO

Toiler said...

Your job is wonderfully selfish, absolutely!

Toiler said...

By the way, readers, see how productive and creative Amy is by visiting her shop at Etsy.com.

She's also a painter, not to mention her biggest job of all, that of a loving and patient and oh-so-thoughtful mother.

So there, all you stay-at-home moms! Keep up!